Love Re-imagined

Poet David Whyte rightly observed
when two people fall in love
each has a vision of how it will be —
when in fact what transpires
is a wholly different third thing
which neither could have imagined.

That first week in Maine adult music camp
despite my intention to practice non-attachment
since he smoked and lived cross country
I fell in love with the violinist —
a well-educated and traveled lawyer
independent yet approachable
proper yet potentially passionate
reserved yet constant friend.

After hearing me perform Dvorak’s Dumky Trio
he was ready to import me for his string quartet.
Overcome by the resonance of his beautiful violin
I was ready to pack my bags.

Funny now that I think of it —
He never revealed his vision, but no doubt
like mine, it was naively skewed, impossibly promising and thoroughly intoxicating.

Reality has a way of deflating dreams.
Nevertheless love’s illusions struggle
against sure defeat.

There is dedication to land, work, family,
friends, loyal pets, place, and possessions.
Yet the greater obstacles to union are invisible —
unconscious negative patterns and fears.

Thus intimate friends become intimate strangers
and the real relationship turns inward
in search of true Self.

Could this darkening leading to inner growth —
the individuation journey to wholeness
be the gift necessary for authentic relationship?

Can we only discover the Self through relationship?
Can we only grow to cherish the other
by learning to love ourselves?

Then the seasoned pilgrim might begin to wonder
if relationship’s hidden profound purpose
were to provide stepping stones
into deeper mysteries.

After decades of proud resistance
if the inflated little ego could bow
to the archetypal unconscious

“I — it” might cross the threshold
into the eternal realm of I — Thou,
in which giving and receiving love
joins in the round dance with divinity.

Looking back,
who could have guessed
where the heart would lead?

Ann West, 2013